Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month is coming to a close and I promised myself that I would take this opportunity to share a few things before the month ends. If you have been following me on Instagram or Facebook, then you know that I have had a few appearances to related to this tender topic. However, prior to agreeing to any events my mind has heavily been on my angel baby, Walter.
I have learned that I grieve in seasons and in this current season where I am happy, loved, and fulfilled, I am also sad, reflective, and heavy at times. During graduation time in the Spring, I felt the latter often. This was a time of graduations, celebrations, and college acceptances! Yet, they left me wondering what our life would be like if our firstborn son had lived to see this year 2024. The year that he too would have graduated from high school, likely headed to college, the workforce, or the military all while making me proud and getting on my nerves.
I have a vision of him and a million what-ifs for which I’ll never have an answer. I do know that 18 years later his absence still hurts. There is still a void and special times like milestones remind me that I too have a son who would have had senior portraits and senior trips. He too may have received typical honors that would highlight his life and make for wonderful memories. Maybe he would have been the class president like his mom or the valedictorian like his dad.
I do not begrudge anyone who has their child here on Earth to love, support and celebrate. I’m simply saying that I wish mine was here too. I miss what could have been. I miss what I’ll never know. I miss him. As thankful as I am for my three living children and as much as I look forward to continuing to love, celebrate and support them, I still miss their brother. I can’t help but wonder what an impact he would have had on all of our lives.
If you are a loss parent, know that there is a tribe of others like you who also remember with you and advocate for you. If you are a friend or family member of a loss parent, do your best to support them and validate the memory of their child or children. No matter how recent or long ago the loss occurred, there will always be a place in your heart where you hold him or her close and that is exactly as it should be. My angel baby Walter, was Mine For A Time.
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Much love,
Coretta
Greetings,
Niece, this is an amazing message. This blog brought tears and joy to my heart. Thank you for sharing with us this message of profound, wisdom, knowledge, and love.
Therefore, as a mother, and aunt who has grieved the loss of children and nephews, I concur with your message.